The like switch summary pdf download

The book gives you the basics of what you might find in the Dale Carnegie's classic book "How To Win Friends and Influence People" but with more specific suggestions and theory behind the principals covered. You can sum up both the Carnegie and Schafter's books main principal as "the secret to connecting with with people is to show interest in them", however, The Like Switch gives more hard facts and Excellent book.

You can sum up both the Carnegie and Schafter's books main principal as "the secret to connecting with with people is to show interest in them", however, The Like Switch gives more hard facts and concepts to back up this general idea. The Like Switch also explains how to read people's non-verbal clues to determine if you are being received well by your new acquaintance.

Dec 28, Anastasia rated it liked it. Some interesting points but told in a tedious manner. Jan 22, Meg Needler rated it it was amazing. Well Worth Your Time! Excellent book! Very informative. Although I knew some of the information presented, most of it was new to me. The author wrote in an easy-to-understand style. This is not written like a textbook.

Schaefer has a way with words, occasionally peppering The Like Switch with a great phrase. I like that! A lot of information was presented. I will definitely reread this book. The author's teac Excellent! The author's teaching background shows here. At times this was a bit frustrating as I wanted to keep going. I want to remember this stuff! I just got a little impatient. If I were to give this book a numerical grade, I'd give it a Aug 12, C. Going through the notes that I have tried to write down from this book, I noticed that even those are there to remind me how excruciating this read could possibly be.

In short this book goes through various social behaviours from a perspective of one not meeting another human being before. How to tell if someone that you are having a conversation with is interested in that talk or not, accompanied by a picture of how that person does not make eye contact for a long period of time would be an exam Going through the notes that I have tried to write down from this book, I noticed that even those are there to remind me how excruciating this read could possibly be.

How to tell if someone that you are having a conversation with is interested in that talk or not, accompanied by a picture of how that person does not make eye contact for a long period of time would be an example of how the first part of the book goes on and on.

In chapter five entitled "Speaking the language of friendship", we have the following: "Giving a person the opportunity to talk, listening to what they say without interruption, [ Second part of the book is getting even worse to the point that you are informed that nothing on Internet is safe or you end up receiving advice of how to be careful with what you are posting because it could remain in the virtual environment forever, and to be honest by this point I think the book might address a different age category than mine altogether.

If you are really young of age, or on the contrary, just retiring and enjoy reading, then by all means please do give this book a chance, otherwise I would strongly recommend against it. Feb 09, Laura Graves rated it it was amazing. I am always intrigued by books with authors who have real world experience as experts in their field, and I found the subject matter intriguing, so I decided to give this book a try.

I'm so glad that I did! The writing style is extremely easy to read and interesting, so I was able to get through it rather quickly. I also really enjoyed the use of pictures to accompany the points in the book. I felt that it helped to clarify some key points, and also left me with an image in my head to connect wi I am always intrigued by books with authors who have real world experience as experts in their field, and I found the subject matter intriguing, so I decided to give this book a try.

I felt that it helped to clarify some key points, and also left me with an image in my head to connect with the idea, making it easier to remember. The author gives many useful suggestions for interpersonal scenarios that we all face--speaking to a spouse, making friends, giving a good first impression, etc. I also appreciated the resources listed at the back of the book. Overall, many helpful tips that I will remember and use in the future.

Mar 27, Christina Dudley rated it really liked it Shelves: nonfiction. Written by a former FBI Behavior Analyst or something like that , this book contains some very interesting spy stories and techniques for winning trust or uncovering cyber lying.

Less interesting were the bits on reading body language "duh! The author's Golden rule for making people like you is the rather cy Written by a former FBI Behavior Analyst or something like that , this book contains some very interesting spy stories and techniques for winning trust or uncovering cyber lying. The author's Golden rule for making people like you is the rather cynical "make them feel good about themselves," which makes it sound like we're all aspiring to be suck-ups, but it's entirely true that we like to be around encouraging, empathic folks who show interest in us.

Kind of pathetic and open to manipulation, but there it is. Apr 12, Annie rated it it was amazing Shelves: recommend. This book provides a lot of key concepts from different topics: reading body language, listening and communicating, making friends, and dealing with difficult people. It also provides plenty of examples of what to look for in trying to read someone's body language, how to approach the situation, and what to say. Even if you're familiar with some of the topics like reading body language knowing when someone is receptive or opposed to what you're saying , there is still useful information on how This book provides a lot of key concepts from different topics: reading body language, listening and communicating, making friends, and dealing with difficult people.

Even if you're familiar with some of the topics like reading body language knowing when someone is receptive or opposed to what you're saying , there is still useful information on how to handle the situation, like what to say to someone who is already formulating an argument against your ideas.

Jan 16, Carmel rated it did not like it Shelves: dnf. Watch your body language, smile. Want people to like you? Be a friend, not a foe. My advice: want people to like you? Read a different book. May 26, Charissa rated it it was amazing Shelves: non-fiction , This book is written by a former CIA special agent specializing in human interaction. He goes through the nonverbal and verbal clues humans use to turn on the Like switch.

I listened to the audio version of this and really liked it. The research and data was fascinating. He gives you lots of proven points to master to get people to like you…even enemies. Loved it. Jul 24, Bibliovoracious added it. Some of the unconscious communication cues and ways you can use them consciously. The head tilt, the eyebrow flash, and more Dec 05, Gillyz rated it really liked it.

Before reading it, I supposed it was another book full of obvious ideas. Instead, it was a very pleasant reading and it made me discover several interesting strategies and concepts I hadn't heard about before.

Definitely worth reading it. Shelves: science-mind-body. Written by a former FBI behavior analyst, this book presents tips on how to build rapport -- be it with a co-worker, a love interest, or the subject of an interrogation. One aspect of this book that did seem unique was how much discussion is given to laying the groundwork of a friendship. Schafer emphasizes the need for patience, and he uses an example of cultivating a spy that involved a Special Agent placing himself in proximity to a target day after day before he ever exchanged so much as eye contact, let alone speaking.

The book consists of eight chapters, plus some front and back matter. However, it goes on to introduce some of the fundamentals that are elaborated upon later. Chapter two focuses on pre-conversational activities. This largely involves non-verbal facial expressions and body language, but it also gets into issues such as appearance. Of course, people may distrust flatterers, and so the direct approach may not always be the best approach. The chapter therefore addresses pitfalls as well as sound tactics.

These are just ways to seem more appealing, often by capitalizing on or making clear existing causes for the individual to like one.

As with the preceding chapters, this is as much about what not to say as it is what to say, but the single biggest point is to do more listening than talking. This is easier said than done given all that one must keep in mind, and the non-verbal cues one is watching for, etc. Chapter seven is about maintaining the relationship that one has established.

A lot of this chapter is about conversational strategies for defusing tense situations, lessening the friction in the relationship, and getting what one wants without building animosity.

The last chapter takes one into really different territory by discussing on-line relationships and the building thereof. In large part, this chapter is a cautionary tale of the risks of entering a relationship given the lack of all the non-verbal cues.

I found this book interesting and beneficial. I also found that the book used photographs effectively. Non-verbal communication is much more effectively and efficiently communicated by photograph, and the author used many color photographs for this purpose.

These may be fair game for interrogating criminal suspects or terrorists but some could backfire upon one when put to use in a relationship that demands more trust.

Usually, the author isolates himself from these tactics by telling us it was something his student or a suspect once mentioned. For example, he describes pickup artists going to an ATM kiosk, plucking up receipts showing large balances, and then using said receipts when it came time to give a girl his number as a means to subtly plant the lie that he was wealthy.

Jan 20, Izzati rated it really liked it. Start growing! Boost your life and career with the best book summaries. In it, Jack Shafer presents techniques to influence, attract and conquer people. Learn to find out if someone is lying to you, pass on the right messages to others and unravel the signs that people are trying to pass you unconsciously. Schafer explains how to make a good first impression and how to interpret verbal and nonverbal cues appropriately.

Our Summary will teach you how to pay attention to others and how to make people like you. If you want to influence someone, you need to be able to understand how a relationship and friendships are formed. You need to learn that there are 4 basic building blocks of friendship. They are proximity, frequency, duration, and intensity. These four building blocks can be used to develop new relationships or evaluate existing relationships. For example, couples who spend little time together are more likely to distance themselves.

Analyze your closest relationships and see which of the 4 essential blocks are the strongest. Another interesting way to use these building blocks is to move away from the other in cases of bad relationships. If you gradually decrease the closeness, frequency, duration, and intensity of the relationship, it becomes easier to have a friendly separation. For example, facing a person is a nonverbal expression that sends an enemy signal to unknown individuals. Many people learn this strategy to deal with stressful situations, functioning as a survival mechanism.

You must know how to control it. They used to learn how to understand and send non-verbal signals, but now they no longer learn because they are always sending messages or using social networks. They are losing practice with interpersonal situations.

You need to have contact with the real world to learn how to deal with nonverbal signals. That often happens unconsciously. It is important to note that if a person does not return the gesture, he or she may not be interested in knowing you. If you raise your eyebrow in an exaggerated way, it can be seen as weird.

If you are trying to send a friendly signal, make eye contact for only a second the first time. To face is never a good sign and is generally understood as a threat. Another friendly and effective signal is to tilt the head. Leaning your head slightly to the left or right is perceived by others as a friendly gesture.

That is because the carotid arteries that carry oxygenated blood to the brain are exposed when you tilt your head, signaling that you do not feel the need to protect yourself. A person who leans his head is perceived as attractive, friendly, trustworthy, kind, and honest.

A sincere smile indicates that the person is happy, enthusiastic, confident and open. The act of smiling improves our humor because it releases endorphin. On the other hand, false smiles in work situations or social situations may seem forced. A true smile reveals the corners of the mouth and wrinkles around the eyes of the person who laughs. The brain can easily distinguish between a false and a true smile.

Many other signs can be used. Touch can be used efficiently as a friendly signal, but it should be used with caution. A surprise reaction to a gentle touch indicates that the person is shy or does not trust you.

Leaning toward a person suggests a breakthrough in the relationship while leaning in another direction indicates that things are not going well. Being expressive also helps.

It is clear that expressive gestures change from culture to culture, but the more expressive you are the more focused the communication between you and the other person. Some of these may belong stares, eye rolling or wrinkling of the eyebrows. Racial tension is menacing, but sometimes it can be misleading because it can also be caused by stress and not by an intentional signal of enmity. This invasion can be done by exchanging looks or by physical contact. Appropriate behaviors vary greatly from person to person and from culture to culture.

Therefore, they can be identified by carefully observing the person before continuing with their attempts at communication. It is extremely important that any signal sent seems natural and not overdone. At a gathering, look at people who are talking to each other with their feet pointed on the outside. If they are open on a wider circle with their feet pointing to an open space they want to accept new people.

Nod as other people are speaking, and then feel free to weigh in and say something during a pause: nobody likes interrupters. Empathic statements appreciate the situation of people you are dealing with. If you can do that, you have an extremely powerful connection there. The idea is that you use them, and then test the reaction to gauge at what point you are in the relationship:. Also notice that when someone starts aligning their body towards you the head turns first, then the shoulders, then the torso.

It lasts a split of a second, and you should do it before meeting someone. Jack Schafer says that the head tilt on the side is an indicator of friendliness.

People who tilt their head towards the speaker are perceived as more friendly, warm and honest. And he says you should use it more often when approaching women for the first time. But when making friends, do tilt your head :. Do smile when meeting someone first and learn to recognize and to give a real smile. A real smile involves the muscles around the eyes.

Ask advice instead and make them feel part of the decision-making process, which will make them feel good. When you are in the position to have to ask for something you can more easily avoid an escalation by giving the impression of choice.